39 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE TRAVELING TO THAILAND

1. Eat off your spoon, not your fork. Eating directly off a fork is considered crude; instead, use your fork to push food onto your spoon.

2. Yes, the people really are *that* nice. Don’t be surprised if strangers offer you advice or strike up a conversation with you.

3. People don’t stand in lines. This took me a few days (and many long waits for the ladies room) to figure out. Instead of queuing up, Thais form a crowd. Stand your ground, and get used to a lack of personal space in public places.

4. Take tuk-tuks during the day and taxis at night. Taxis are more comfortable, but tuk-tuks give you a better view. Both are terrifying. If you go to Patpong road at night (Bangkok’s equivalent of the Red Light District), ask your taxi to come back and pick you up at a certain time. Otherwise, you’ll have a hard time fighting all the other drunk people to find a ride back to your hotel.

5. Don’t talk about the king. Seriously, not a word.

6. Gambling is only permitted on certain days (by order of the king, whom you are still not talking about, right?). Hit up the horse tracks on a pro-gambling day for an awesome experience. Prepare for lots of yelling, drunk people, and general debauchery.

7. Eat as many mangoes as you possibly can. The mangoes in Thailand are the most delicious in the world.

8. Cover up your elbows and knees when visiting temples, wats, monasteries, palaces, etc. I’d recommend bringing along a light jacket or cover-up even on days when a temple isn’t on the itinerary — you never know when you’ll stumble across a beautiful wat you’ll want to check out!

9. Many of the popular beer brands also make bottled water. If you order a “Chang” or “Singha,” the waitress will likely respond “Chang beer?” to clarify. Make it easy by ordering “Chang water” or “Singha beer” to begin with. As a side note, I’ve tried doing this in Thai restaurants back home and I just get weird looks. Go figure.